This is not my ceiling
I CAN MOONWALK!
i also saw a trio of peacocks walking along a sidewalk in hollywood today. i really hope im not tripping.
he was on top of me and all of a sudden stopped and starting picking his nose...i asked him if he was okay, he sort of looked confused, and he told me he had a booger that hurt. guess its a good thing i wasnt planning on dating this guy
It was one time. Now I have to constantly remind her my name is Jessica not Jizzica.
That sound you heard was the sound of millions of brackets exploding simultaneously
He told her, Don't talk. Just sit there so I can imagine that you have the kind of personality I wish you had.
I'm soaked in beer, and I think blood. Why did we think we could tap a keg with a hammer?
You will never know an awkward moment until your parents pick you up from a one night stand.
This number has temporarily been disconnected and will be restored to service once you get rid of you girlfriend.
Can you rollerblade?
No, why?
Honestly, I was high and picturing us roller blading together. I wanted to see if I could make my dreams a reality.
You can wear anything you want
So... Naked it is then
Sorry I punched you in the throat. You got in my way. You understand.
So, I without a doubt haven't used the bag I'm now carrying since we were dating. Just had to discreetly throw out an unopened magnum in a bus station.
It may be a corded vibrator from the 90s but it gets the job DONE
Randomize
