i just used google streetview to figure out where i spent the night last night
She has more profile pics than tagged pics. narcissism at its best.
Having drunken flash backs of me giving you a piggy back ride. I was like Jesus, and you were my cross. I fell so many times for you. This is true friendship.
I wiped my blood on their walls screaming "IT'S NOT MY SECURITY DEPOSIT!"
Beer pong consisted of me throwing a ball at the wall and then falling over because moving my arm made me dizzy. I think our team lost.
You turned to me, winked, whispered "man the harpoons" and walked out with the fat chick
My mouth is so dry that I'm about to put a straw in a jar of Vaseline and chug. This all addi diet definitely has its ups and downs.
She's chasing her own tail and is afraid of her own feet. My stoner cat, ladies and gentlemen.
Rule 1: If any of us dies on a trip, the other two have to 'Weekend at Bernies' the shit outta that corpse...
He compared my vagina to his favorite T-shirt. I don't know if I should take that as a compliment or not..
Some guys phone started vibrating on the tv. I answered mine. That's how high I am.
You lost me at unexpected butt stuff. Everything else I would probably do.
He's really cute...He stopped talking to me because i pulled my skirt up and peed in a demi plie position...
Step 1 was make out with him. so now we just need to come up with step 2.
i just woke up on the desk in his dorm with him snoring in my vagina. better than last week waking up to a different guy puking on my bare ass i guess.
Randomize
