i'm so hungover...i might vomit in a handbag instead of selling them
i just got fired from my job because i was "too smart" and my immedate response was i am WAY too stoned to be considered smart, and theni walked out the door.
wow. i have no words.
just saw a guy throwing up in the urinal at Dennys. Either he had one hell of last night or we are going to eat somewhere else
i sneezed during and he said it felt like i gave birth to his dick...then asked me to do it again.
He proposed that we "bone". I've completely given up on boys.
he's dressed up as spiderman, i don't understand why he's crying.
Can we skip lunch and do power hour sex time from now on? I'll let you eat nachos off my body if you really need the food.
I want a bunch of melted cheese. or a penis. or a penis covered in melted cheese
yo btw licking skeptical coke off table right now
He thought my hair would soak it up. I HAD TO CUT IT OFF.
Is there a polite way to say "Sorry for your head injury but I still want to hook up"?
I may be asexual, but I owe you a solid from yesterday. I am a man of my word.
I need to reevaluate my stance on weekday hangovers...
I'm not sure if I should pay him or he should pay me, but someone should get paid for the sex I had this morning.
I'm glad I date someone who likes the simple things. Sex, kittens, and McDonald's.
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