Oral text is very safe with the right protection.
Call me "white mamba"
Your dick is not a dangerous deadly poisonous snake
It is white.
you lied. pity sex is amazing.
We agreed to not shave eyebrows when someone is passed out. douchebag.
I definitely managed to work the word "aforementioned" into the conversation.. At least I'm an intelligent sexter.
and my loofah got caught on my nipple ring in the shower today. what an awful experience.
I wish they would just make alcoholic protein shakes already.
Currently putting together my outfit for this weekend, AKA a poster board that says "I'll cook you breakfast and do all your laundry, take me home." On front and back
I think we need to stage a munchie intervention for Ben. I just watched him use a tortilla as a potholder to dump water out of his ramen.
I'm spending tomorrow doing taxes and making jello shots. Is this adulthood?
So I sniffed too hard this morning before work and I THINK THE COCAINE JUST STARTED ROUND 2.
I just want orgasms and emotional validation. Is that too much to ask?
We need to feng shui this bitch.
I can't really text bc it's too expensive but I thought youd like to know I just shit myself in a gift shop.
This pandemic, it’s making everyone horny. I’ve got dick stashed all over town
Randomize
