whats up tonight?
Ice cream, wine, and teabags... Not the earl grey kind
The trip involved octopus tentacles coming from the little holes in my TV's speakers. The beauty of the nonexistant symbolism had me in tears.
Don't make fun of the drunk girl eating bread out of her pockets. I've been that girl.
She was covered in mud grabbed my crotch and said see that handprint that means I called dibs
we used the fire extinguisher you had been cuddling with to decorate the cop car while they were inside arresting everyone
Me and the guy at the liquor store are on a first name basis, college is all about networking.
If you don't get head tonight I will castrate you
Seriously. Castrate.
hey fuckhead. when i said not to grow shrooms in our apartment, that didn't mean "yea, sure. grow shrooms in our apartment"
Like wrapping my dick in silk, wrapping that in velvet, and putting it in a cloud. A warm, tight, wet cloud.
I saw a shooting star while he was eating me out at 3am by my neighbors pool. Doesn't get more magical than that
it is shots o' clock and I am never late
seriously, who doesn't want to get shitfaced and have sex to the backstreet boys?
Painting strippers breast and vaginas to look like easter eggs. What r u doing tonight.
COCAINE AND SUSPENSFUL BBC SHOWS DO NOT WORK.
True I am eskimo brothers with every one of my room mates, but it was only two girls. And 9 outta 10 times I was first
Randomize
