Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
bouncer thought i was tryin to get the license plate numbers of strippers to stalk them. I had to go show him where I threw up to get back in.
she insisted that i refer to her boobs by name.
Yea, remember to blow out the fire from flaming shots. Unless you want burnt lips. Just saying, I'm an example of ignorance and intoxication.
Got hereat 8. Had 6 beers 2 shots and a game of diZZY BATOS
I tried to tell her I've only slept with 3 other people...she then named off 5 of her sorority sisters I fucked and asked me if she should continue
I'm sorry but that single bed couldn't hold all five of us, especially with those boobs.
We love you just as you are but we might love you more if we didn't have to post bail so often...
Tid bit for you to add to your "what to expecting when you're expecting to lose your virginity" book... Sex on nyquil is cheaper and BETTER than sex on esctacy AND you sleep like a champ after so you're not able to think about any bad decisions made.
Chipotle. Because when you've had diarrhea for 6 days why not just make it 7
he fucked me with his goalie mask on. it was like sleeping with Darth Vader
I'm putting my hangover kit in my car for the trip to work tomorrow morning. Dedication
who has a one night stand on Christmas ? But he's pretty attractive so thumbs up
I've only fucked to 2 Fleetwood Mac songs, that must be why my life feels so empty.
We're in an alley with a psychic wizard, shes reading our palms
Randomize