I think my tv knows when im high and tells taco bell
I just want you to know the floor between our rooms isnt sound proof "Captain Cock"
I think i found piece of your tooth in my dick this morning when i took a shower
Ya I guess he's not a bad roommate. I mean if he wasn't here I would probably be more lazy and pee in bottles and stuff.
It smelled like mall pretzels. Of course I investigated.
how the fuck is Katelyn 5'1" and 85 lbs and she tackled a bouncer to the ground?
I'm at the point in my life where I'm trying to get guys I've fucked to give a ride to guys I'm going to fuck.
He fucked me so hard I might have to go to the hospital for internal bleeding
Can I have him when you're done?
Ok! I picked up an anti-celebratory bottle of champagne on the way to dinner for her going to rehab. That's how I feel about this...
The nun costume is coming back hard and it still has glitter and the smell of Vegas on it.
Best. Text. Ever.
just ran into my drill sergeant from basic 4 years ago. gonna take him home and have him fuck me at the cadence of quick time.
I got my period today and I cried tears of joy. And then just cried because my cramps are actually killing me from the inside out.
Emily saved me from being trapped on my roof and then I beat her in a race at 5am it was a low key night
I just threw up on the way to class. Legit, on the sidewalk by psych building.
THAT WAS YOU? Psych prof just pointed out the window and said "that kids, is why you don't pregame before class"
beach body workouts will consist of dancing and cocaine, and sugar free redbull
Randomize
