The girl here has a popped collar. Can I slap her?
Yes. For all mankind please do.
I just want to know how you cleaned her puke off the twister mat with no gloves. And didn't throw up
you yelled "you will never make love to jesus" and then ran into the tv.
You know what is really helpful - when the two guys you want to fuck stand next to each other. Stay tuned for who wins
amateur piercings on our way to the beach? check.
You were almost as fucked up as I was the night I hooked up with a bob saget look alike...
I can feel the fear and stress bubbling in my stomach. Or maybe that is the pregnancy.
thanks for the 52 voicemails of you and crystal reciting the pleg of allegance
Did you get any last night. I need to track my forever aloneness
So my roommate and I have a written agreement stating that if he tries to sleep with his ex girlfriend, I have to immediately intervene and nut punch him then send her on her way.
this is the most serious roommate agreement ever
Are you feeling okay?
Right now, not a single thing feels even slightly okay. That hungover.
That Kevin guy is something else...His penis is fucking glorious. And he has a way with words. If he lived here I'd be the conductor of the fuck caboose. I mean literally I would never want to get off that thing.
Congrats you've received dick pics from an Olympic silver medalist
He found out about your side hoe and still helped you try to find a lizard that got in the house
It's weird having sex with someone you actually like
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