Spotted on freeway- girl in ford focus takes a hit from a 7 inch pipe while knee driving. She winked at me. I want her life.
No. I was horrified and confused as to why you thought scrambled eggs and cottage cheese was a good mix
I'm naked in the window of the hotel and I feel like I'm walking in slow motion like a robot
I literally have a bandage on my dick that's how bad she is at handjobs
I call BS on that! THAT WAS TOTALLY AN INTERCEPTION. JENNINGS HAD THAT.
PEOPLE ARE FLIPPING FURNITURE HERE. IN THE ROOM ABOVE ME. I HEARD SOMEONE WOOKIE CALL IN ANGER FROM SOMEWHERE IN THIS BUILDING.
I'd be lying if I said I wasn't scared, even a little.
So I was trying to finish off that sick uv whipped and I chased it with yogurt. Not a good idea
Holy shit, I just successfully took and sent a boob pic AT MY DESK I have conquered an entire new level of skill.
I can't sleep. My mind keeps asking "turn down for what?" but it won't accept any of my answers.
In other news I think my vagina is sunburnt
I learned that I order a bunch of dollar shots at the bar and once it's ready turned around and say "who wants pay?" And someone will pay
We are actually the same person except with opposite genitalia, which are both incredible.
He doesn't have an existential crisis after we have really violent sex now which is nice
I'm in my math teacher's garage hiding right now because I fucked his son last night. It's fine
I passed out while searching "symptoms of narcolepsy"...
I saw some guy masturbating in the Burger King parking lot and I’m just fucking done
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