Just spent the rest of my time at that bar trying to keep a probs underage closet gay from touching my kitten to prove he still likes girls.
So do you want to come over? ;)
Never again opening up the Pandora's box of crazy that is your vagina. Sorry.
Don't threaten to terrorize my ass hole unless you have to wherewithal to back it up
I just single handedly caused ferngully by printing the wrong 900 page document
he said 'i love fucking you, ashley'. it was the most romantic thing he's said during sex because he actually used my name.
And then i had a penis in each hand. It was magical.
There was just way too much discussion about my penis at that party
So I'm at that stage in my life where I am stalking my stalker just to get laid
You kept saying you we're gonna puke and wanted to steal my pants
That does not explain the remnants of a small fire in my bathtub.
As long as you don't want to make a shrine out of my eyelashes It's all good
I did a kegel this morning to determine if I had been penetrated during last night's blackout. Nope.
How did you tell her we met?
I told her that we met at the sex shop down the street, I thought it would be the most reasonable explanation.
I'll be perfectly honest; there are times other guys have consented to have sex with me because of my punctuation.
I just had a mini meltdown cause I thought they forgot to put the cheese packet in my mac and cheese. I'm having an awful week.
did i tell you guys i finally 69’d for the first time last night? just thought the group chat should know.
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