YEA!!! I'll throw you a non-baby shower.
No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
the third sister isn't as attractive as the other two but I will do her anyway to finally pull off the fabled family hat trick.
I didnt expect it either. But she was there and I had a boner, so i made it happen.
I am standing at the lion i publicly humped last night. i am mortified.
I'm being fed tequila grapes by a girl on stilts...
Either I spilled whiskey on my boobs last night or they are fermenting. Not concerned in the slightest
the tv said "its small, its comfortable..." and i started laughing... safe to say he lost any dignity he had left...
you bit my nipple really hard and then looked at me and said 'i feel responsible for the state of your nipples'
Blacked out and Irish exited last night. At dinner. On a Sunday.
This is gonna be the kind of weekend where if it involves putting on pants, it ain't happening.
He wore pink swim trunks on our date and repeatedly insulted my profession, but his cat kept standing up like a person to nuzzle my face and I felt like a Disney Princess. I hate this dude, but the cat is too amazing for me to not fake interest for.
HIGH AS FUCK. JUST WATCHED THE TRIPPIEST VIDEO EVER. IM NOT SCARED OF PANDAS. I GOTTA GO. TRIPPIN AGAIN
He stole one of my good bras again. If I'm not getting laid I'm not putting with this shit. Also it's a walk of shame for you today, my car is suicidal again.
She was blacked out at her own party. It felt good to stand next to her while she laid on the floor and say "vomit does not look good on you."
Randomize
