All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
the bus pole looks like a man who feels guiltyty about something
Sometimes, dog treats look like people treats.
Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
How was dinner with ur grandparents?
I was really blazed and scared they'd catch me, so when they asked about my day I was concentrating really hard on not saying smoking that instead I honestly said "Well, I had sex on your pool table, Nana."
who put toothpaste on EVERY doorknob in my house?!
Pretty sure I tied my shoes laces together to keep myself from driving drunk. Fell like six times. Keep forgetting
A burger king employee called me from your phone while you were on their bathroom floorl. Hope ur not in jail....4 realz
Good point, clearly my love of penis contributed to my torn knee ligament.
Well it was tamer than the 4th of july when I blew that guy I met walking home from the fireworks
Remember when we were coked out at that house and we were trying to meditate in the bathroom? Who's house were we at?
He offered to buy me free breakfast if I stayed at the hotel overnight with him. I then realized they have a complimentary breakfast.
The name of the man in your bed is not Ryan. I can't remember what his name is but that is wrong
I just want to nap all the time and eat Chinese food.
Every dick I’ve had or wanted in the last year is married. It’s like I became a professional home wrecker after I graduated.
Randomize
