i want you now
you need to stop dating girls with the same name as your mother...or stop drinking so much...I don't want to see this
remind me not buy ky at kmart ever again. Had to get a manager to open the locked case. then he stood there and watched me look through the selection
I hate that ur telling me this.
there's a guy on campus handing out business cards. you pay him to see if your girlfriend will cheat. the company name is "tying up loose ends"
we were hanging out in his room and he decided to play WoW.. so i took off all my clothes while he wasn't paying attention and laid on his bed and started playing with myself.
did he notice?
of course he didn't notice.. he was playing a fiesty level 1 fucker that wouldn't give up..
Recently successful and happy relationships are at an all time high now that you are no longer fucking so many peoples girlfriends. You alone have changed the mating patterns in the lower half of our county.
You need to stop relating my life to your schoolwork. But tell my girlfriend that she'd be proud.
I say we start a new tradition. I came up with it all by myself. It's called work out, lay out, black out
I think I reached some stage of aging, have a sore/injured shoulder from sex, next up carpal tunnel from sexting.
The point remains that this is the setup for some great stories
Or terrible, horrifying, traumatic experiences
great clearly means different things to us
I'm filtering his penis picture so I can see it better
On another note; I'm three days away from being 1/12th of my way from not having sex for a year. I need to get laid.
i'm sitting in bed scratching my boobs and wearing a sparkly fedora and have no one to blame but myself
Drug test isn't today. Now I'm just sitting in this orientation with a bag of your piss in my pants
My mom found your leather pants in our guest room. She doesn't want to know why they are there, she just wants to know if you want them washed.
You know my vagina and my heart have a mind of their own even when it’s pouring snow.
let your parents know i'm sorry i ran around the house pretending their metal detector was a "booze detector"
Randomize
