He started yelling "we're making a baby" mid thrust.. probably not the right guy for me right?
I just wnated to let you know that I laminated my history notes so i can study in the shower.
Ya! She had a north face on tho so she was a classy hooker.
dude you need a shock collar for some of the things you say when you're drunk.
pregamed for the floor meeting. so stoned. i keep thinking my RA is shrinking.
somebody put my brain in a crown royal bag and beat the shit out of it
I will seriously deflate and melt into the floor into a puddle of devestation, shame and vodka.
Those drunk pictures you took of me? My mom is showing those to my grandparents.
So...guess who had sex tied to the ladder of a caboose under the stars in Joshua Tree? This bitch
Let's celebrate our freedom by getting high and doing stupid shit.
My potted cactus died. I am literally less nurturing than the desert.
I feel like that xmas present negates everything we were taught as little girls. Putting out DOES pay. God bless us everyone
I just had all of the sex. All of it.
suburban family judging/laughing at us after Jenna just pulled two flasks out of her boot on the subway
You walked right into the door. Even the door guy and security guys were laughing.
Randomize
