well,he told me "i bet you five bucks that i can right cum on the mirror with my cum" i said alright do it, lets just say he's five bucks richer...
you're out of your mind
you look like daphne blake and he looks like fozzie bear
it's like he rubbed a lamp and wished you into existence
all nice guys are gay and all hot ones are assholes
You're fat. Stop making excuses
Our kitchen sink faucet is leaking, so I set a pitcher under it to catch water for Kool-Aid tomorrow rather than turn on the faucet. The environment owes me.
Just for future questioning, I didnt break up with you over text
We played alot of beer pong and ventured into the woods with tiki torches
ALWAYS CAPS LOCK. IS THERE EVER A SITUATION THAT DOES NOT CALL FOR CAPS LOCK? NO.
Sexting? Sexting in caps lock seems rather unnerving.
I WANT YOUR BODY AND I WANT IT NOW.
I rest my case.
I asked him why he was eating an entire can of refried beans, the only answer I got was "revenge"
Happy cinco de mayo!! Puke filled sombrero in the lawn needs to be picked up and whos never punched my fence boards in half needs to replace those by the way the owner of those panties (see attached photo) anytime you wanna cum over;-) hiii!
I just shotgunned a beer and my lipstic didnt BUDGE. MERICUHH
I shaved an Xmas tree into my junk.... I placed your present underneath.
I want falafel more than sex right now. That's really saying something for me...
I don't care if it's 2 inches or 20 I mean dick is dick
I have alotted at least an hour for ugly crying.
First you stole a hockey stick out of the nieghbors yard and claimed you were moses leading his children home. Then you led us around the same block twice before I called the cab
Randomize
