So she said she wears a diaper when she's on her period and I'm not going to lie, I kind of want to see the diaper.
Seeing him suck some chick's face on VH1 wasn't exactly how I imagined the "we should see other people" conversation going.
i do some of my deepest thinking on my wednesday morning walks of shame
Please check on her. She announced that Thursday she'd open herself to any veteran so as to thank them for their service. "my services for your service" and left the bar with three numbers.
is he the 3rd person to bang everyone in our group?
Found our threesome girl. She says I'm pretty. She doesn't know I'm pregnant. Yet. Think we can pull it off?
They installed a lotion dispenser in the bathroom at work... its like they want me to masturbate on the clock...
I just wanna go somewhere and not be judged for wearing spandex shorts that make my ass look like a slice of fucking heaven. Is that so much to ask??
Ugh I hate you, and the responsible adult life I pretend to have during daylight hours
When i'm home next we need to get baked and go to waffle house. I want to see if the waitress can still guess my intoxication level and what i'm about to order before i even make it to the table.
Friends don't let friends put redi whip in their wine
I think my nap took me to another dimension
I caught a glimpse of his penis. I can only imagine what your mom's vagina goes through because of that penis
So I'm just casually at the grocery store when I remember that there's still a clove of garlic in my vagina
Puke-y regrets or just things-seem-far-away regrets?
Randomize
