im about as happy as oj after his trial
i always forget guys have bellybuttons
Honey, If i waited till marriage I wouldnt know what a dick tasted like.
yeah bitch needs to recognize there's only one person with this face
Haha im sorry. Its just financially responsiable to bang him instead of you right now.
Vodka @ 9pm. Library. Nothing can go wrong, I promise.
It was like watching porn, except it was in real life, and it was starring two of your best friends.
You've never even broken a bone. You singlehandedly disprove natural selection
I beer bonged before it even hit 4 o' clock. Please get on my level homecoming style.
Kinda awkward to hear your aunt complain about loose women when you're in town to be a stunt dick for a swingers convention. Just sayin.
If I get laid tonight it will 1.) Prove that the sex gods do in fact exist, and 2.) Show that I am one motherfucking badass bitch.
My cousin was arrested on a class b felony for selling meth out of the back door of McDonald's where he worked. Apparently it was the extra special sauce.
It was a career choice to be sure... Mistakes were made.
I just threw up a strange neon green substance. Did I eat a glow stick last night?
I CAN SEE SO MANY PENISES. There are so many visible penises here.
Where are you???
Yoga class :(
Well, not only did I find out the Top Knight has roof access, I also let a guy I just met eat me out on the roof. Seems like a lot of wins if you ask me.
Randomize
