I like bacon cheeseburgers and the pussycat dolls
Does that mean you want me to loosen up your buttons at carls jr?
It's 8:30am and I'm drinking.... this is a new low
i have nine cents in my fucking bank account... not even a dime
I just saw a like a 30 person deep walk of shame... it was like the million man march but with dorm chicks
If we break up, I want weekend visitations with your penis.
This guy in a neck brace is ordering bottle service at the strip club. Not sure whether to applaud his commitment or scorn his addiction. It's a draw.
Also: how drunk is your brother? He just left me a message as batman.
Guess who is playing his new drum set when his roommate gets home to teach her a lesson about binge drinking to the point of being taken to the emergency room?
So I'm at the VFW tonight and the shot special here is straight 151 for 2 dollars. They must hate our livers
MAYDAY. glass in foot, have crush on guy with mullet.life is over.
Are there any plans to where i might need to be dressed semi-nicely or is it a "pants optional" weekend?
Remember that time we turned a can of Axe body spray into a flame thrower?
I tried to have a quickie with him at the company happy hour. I think I need to quit my job.
Girl i am always here for you. But i am going to have sex now so im going to call you in the morning.
Well. Another one of my exes came out of the closet.
Randomize
