would it be inappropriate to describe you with the phrase "bigass titties"?
And then I'm going to yell into her vagina and see if it echoes
dude your girlfriend is running naked down the hall with a raw chicken taped to her stomach saying this is what I'll look like pregnant...run far far away
mid puke you looked up at me and asked if it was your turn to sing
i take my contacts out every time we fuck so i cant see all the stretch marks
I have to take his virginity. It's what God put me on earth for. It's my life mission.
I'm in the Wal Mart stall where we found out you weren't pregnant. This is where I'm going to propose to you. I feel like that would be the most romantic
I feel like someone had their period in my eyes.
I'm sorry I got a little outta control last night.
Although I am concerned about who made the decision to let you loose in a bridal show I am proud to see you in a sombero again.
It's a goat... but where the fuck did it come from?
A fair warning: I don't think a cop will let you off the hook just because your birthday is on New Year's Eve
I'm making mistakes. Coming up with girl now
I hate me. That girl was hiiiiideous.
but seriously, if you see a redhead running down the street tonight in a carrot costume, call 911. He's tripping hard.
You're emotionally mature, right? I said you were.
I have at least four things in my line of sight that have Kermit the Frog on them in my dorm. Does that answer your question?
if he becomes president of the united states, I will tell EVERYONE that i took his virginity.
Randomize
