Only I could do what I did last night and feel perfectly ok working around children the next day
130 PACKAGES of glow sticks! The going rate of a rave is $38.30! GET READY FOR THE GLORGY!!!!!!!!!!!!
I'm not sure any amount of coworker judgement will keep me from eating oatmeal with dinosaur eggs.
I was more than drunk as hell I have rug burn on my elbows from ninja roles on the ground..
My plan to masturbate 34 times on my 34th birthday backfired. Do you still have those crutches?
It's all fun and games until you have to pay the bar tab.
Those thigh tattoos deserve the handsomest of grins between them. Dont settle.
Now in listening to Jerome Bettis speak at the hall of fame and my boner just started twirling a terrible towel
He called my vagina his wife... how is that NOT creepy?!
he just fucked me for my cheese..
What's your opinion on eating ass? Just looking for a yes or no
We were dancing and then he pointed to the club floor and there was money that I dropped everywhere. That was the nicest thing someone has ever done for me.
I'm in the fetal position trying to figure out a way to get someone to deliver me pancakes.
I really wanted you to make me eggs this afternoon. I even wrote it on my hand to remind myself.
If the multiverse is real, would you screw yourself? I'd screw myself.
Randomize
