I decided to name my penis gatorade...is it in you?
you asked "if this appropriate to take the the bathroom?" while holding up a bottle of vodka when you went to pee.
I just woke up to pictures of every angle of his dick I'll ever need to see.
You were like pukeahontas last night, you tried to tell us you were okay, then you puked in the garden.
Is it acceptable to cry on a Friday or am I supposed to drink to forget it?
We're like a dynamic duo.
Bisexual and Proud, Lesbian and Loud.
Lesson learnt. Sex toy cleaning spray is not an acceptable substitute to clean your glasses with.
This is the second girl that said she wanted to fuck me while wearing a clown nose. Fuck online dating
I was picked up from his hotel room at 5 a.m. and came home with my panties and jäger in a McDonald's bag so the desk attendant wouldn't judge me. This is what single at 25 is about.
Wanna get mid day margaritas tomorrow if I'm still alive
My vagina needs a break, I had to ice it with a beer bottle last night.
Every time I'm hungover I just want to watch Harry Potter and cry.
I still don't understand if he's using me to write his resume or if we're dating
Let's drink tonight I promise I'll make it out of the house
We could have mediocre awkward sex or mediocre stunted/awkward/uncomfortable banter. The possilities are relatively finite
Randomize
