the last thing i remember is fucking her. GAME CHANGER i woke up in another bedroom to her younger sister blowing me
I miss you too. And it was nice meeting your brother while I was mounting you
you stuck pieces of bread to your face with peanut butter and asked if it looked like you had a facial yeast infection.
ohhhh that's why they asked me to leave...
you can't just say no to brian. he was bugging me to get me to drunk for 14 hours straight yesterday. HE DOESN'T GIVE UP
found $100 my ex got arrested and I can receive free health insurance I gotta tell ya 2014 is really going to be my year
who sends a dick pic at 3 am on a sunday honestly
seriously. and now it'll take him hours to clean up the glitter
But no. So do not give him one damn penny. Unless they are in a sock and you are hitting him with it.
So I told him "To answer your question yes I am naked making pizza pops in your kitchen"
We got drunk, we had raw sex and we discussed about the showrunner change in Doctor Who, in that order.
You should feel special! You're also the only person I've ever punched during sex
He was a foot taller than me and my hands were bigger than his, it's called Pity head
i just woke up on the desk in his dorm with him snoring in my vagina. better than last week waking up to a different guy puking on my bare ass i guess.
So I FINALLY get to start out a story, "So there I was, naked except for a toboggan hat and handcuffs..."
She was gone when I unblacked out, but she had nailed her panties to the wall and wrote “Colleen’s Dick”with a sharpie on the wall. No idea where she got a hammer and nail
Stand and applaud for me. I have successfully masturbated in a Walmart changing room with the door wide open during normal business hours. I lead a very Charmed Life.
Randomize
