I had a wet dream about my mom last night. words can't even begin to discribe how scarred I am. what. the. fuck.
using the left over highlighters from the blacklight party to study for finals. feeling the need to write insert penis here on my econ notes.
We're sending your burrito through the mail slot.
Thanks for putting the blue stuff in the toilet, it made me throwing up this morning more enjoyable.
We are casual work acquaintances that occasionally fuck when the urge strikes. CWATOFWTUS. I know FWB rolls off the tongue better but it is what it is.
at what point did you think saran wrap was a better alternative to shoes?
he was holding the bottle like a running back yelling for security and the national guard as he was being tackled
Oh btw, that was a wonderful blow job. You did a good job.
Cops just came and got two guys out of my class. I can't do college. Seriously cannot rage at this school anymore.
As its breast cancer awareness month, I'm going to do my part by making everyone aware of my breasts
Also 70% sure I have a splinter on my eyelid from last night
I bought a vibrating wall dildo with my tax return. You?
I shit you not. Dude complemented me for being meme savvy. You could drown a toddler in my panties right now.
Just waxed 95% of the hair off my vag. If he doesn't enjoy this tonight, you will, whether you like it or not.
And here I am, playing fetch with my cat at two in the morning.
Randomize