is it bad that i shorted Freddie Mac immediatly after I heard about the CFO?
it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
After waking up today, I would like to find the Jesus preachers on campus to ask for help in asking for forgiveness to God.
sorry for making everyone realize you look like bruce jenner
They just came out of my bathroom and asked if I could spare them a condom. See. Its a good thing I have some.
we fucked the fort apart but we'll rebuild it after we get some drinks.
Complete silence. Background Willy Wonka music. An empty back of Lay's BBQ chips. These are the ingredients for an extreme acid trip.
I guess I just stopped wanting to rip his balls out and started being okay with him being alive. that's a typical feeling for exes right?
My fuck buddy is great and all, but it gets weird when she gets in arguments with her BF in the driveway
Had a grope session with a girl who looked like my Mom and had the same name as her as well. I think therapy is in order.
HEY. NO. THIS IS ABOUT YOU RIGHT NOW. YOUR COCK, MY MOUTH, THATS IT.
She said her name is "Goose" and regardless of her being a lesbian, sometimes she just "needs a good dick"
He called me dainty, then fucked me like the Viking God he is.
I just watched will sing pure imagination from willy wonka and then blow a banana
He hit me with his bagpipe
Isnt that against the lesbian handbook?
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