2:45a: Any chance you got 3000 bucks on you?
hell yes lets make some ravioli
i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
Dude, I totally just put a lit lighter to my hand for 10 seconds
How much beer did you get for it?
One ice cold coors, but those mountains lied
Me + Nice restaurant + Copious amounts of booze + obscene comments to couples = valentine's day plans
I lost control in the snow and hit a parked car. I went into our building to get a pen and paper to leave a note and when I came back the car was gone and there was a hot girl there. I used the pen and paper to get her number.
Pretty sure I just shit out pure stomach acid. I'll explain after you take me to a hospital
No. I think its because I really and truly know that he is a moron and his future prospects are zoo animals.
She looks like she smells of sausage, sunblock and sorrow.
My birthday is in 11 days. Going ham. Consciousness will not be an option
Boys should be on-demand - like, once you select one, he's yours for the next 24-hours
Actually I more feel like I'm on a ship about to grab the holy grail off an island
The ship is me being high the holy grail is some profound idea I'm about to have
Really this has to stop, if they get any younger we will be breaking the law
Yeah totally passed out in their trash can last night.
Mom just walked in on a bj. IT'S WHATEVER.
Randomize
