So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
if reincarnation is for serious, i better be a guy in my next life
with a huge shlong
massive. i wanna make bitches cry
My family just suggested tequila shots. I had Vietnam style flashbacks.
i knew i liked her after she chugged tequila, fell down the stairs and said "oh dont worry i knew it'd be faster this way"
once you started introducing yourself as "running-bear" i knew you were beyond fucked up
Sounds good! I plan on writing a book entitled: I've Probably Done Cocaine In Your Bathroom. A tell-all by Lauren.
He just tried to eat my hair and he keeps talking about pissing on everything, come home soon I beg of you
As sure as my left ball is bigger then my right. We will have our moment.
Been in bed for 16 hours. Haven't eaten in 18 hours. Haven't pissed in almost 20 hours. Fuck you Stacey and your former reign as laziest bitch. I got the title now.
Can we put this graduation on the shelf figuratively and go drink
I have to take a quiz before midnight. Trying to decided if its a better idea to take it now when I'm stoned or later when I'm drunk.
No one's ever called me intergalactic cocksucker, before.
What does it say about me that I feel completely charmed right now?
Your boobs stole my birthday thunder!
Im drunk taking pregnancy tests with this really hot girl...i dont know what is happening
I woke up in my bed with candy and beer bottles all around me and i dont know where any of it came from. I love valentines day.
Randomize
