OMg patrick swayze is the sexuest man he is killing me I'm gonna get dehydrated if I don't stop looking at him
How am I suppose to look him in the face when I know a commercial lasts longer than he does?
We tried to play doctor all sexually then he was taking down my 'symptoms' I said I needed to puke he thought it was part of the game
Just lit a joint with steel wool and a 9 volt battery... thank you 3rd grade science class
I will not ride trays down a flight of stairs topless and drunk....
I JUST MACED MY OWN FACE
This is by far the best text I have ever woken up to.
Just a heads up before you get home. Took the shelves out of the fridge so i could fit the beer ball and bucket of riot punch. Apparently i decided the stove was the best place to keep them. They got cooked when we pre heated to cook a bird we shot. This may be the final straw for our security deposit
This essay is so getting done. I am spurred on by thoughts of test-driving your newly shaven face by sitting on it as soon as humanly possible.
I told him he could fuck me once he could grow a beard. Never expected seeing him ten years later with a goatee and a great memory...
Thank you. Next to bondage, soft American Apparel t-shirts are the best things you've taught me about.
Omg yes! I just found a random muffin! Don't question it. Just praise the miracle.
We just broke my bed mid-sex, laughed, then continued. If that isn't true love I don't know what is.
i feel like ive seen the light, but not in the nasty christian way. thats gross. say no to jesus, kids
Why did I wake up naked with a leg cramp and and extra $550 in my wallet?
Like I'll lick your nuts to make you feel better if you don't get it
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