She introduced herself and then asked "have you ever fucked a girl with a cast?"
boobs and vodka. thats all i can remember, finals week needs to stop ending like this..
she was in the bathroom washing her eye makeup off with hand sanitizer.
1. Sorry about making it snow. 2. If it left a mess, I will be over to clean it. 3. Can that fire extinguisher still be used? If not, I'll buy a new one. 4. I just wanted to make it snow!
He was puking up tons. He aimed his face inside his coat. Not a drop in my car. Then he thanked me for the ride.
I feel like I'm in an ocean of eels jacking me off
You see it tends to piss fathers off when they find their daughter in the arms of a shirtless guy that neither he nor his daughter knows.
I thought my ass was sore from the gym then I realized it was from being spanked. Confusing time in my life.
I walked in on him fucking my best friend. I think we've reached the point of following each other on twitter.
I have a rash on my arm from the cat litter. Think the cat will be mad that I peed in its box?
Your the only person I know that needed stiches after a Monday morning conference call. How are you in your 20s? How
You're the air beneath my wings and the lookout when I pee
Validation I posted a good pic? The lonely fuckboys send out the booty call signal. Of course I answered the call; Gotham needs its hero.
I just found a contact in my phone named "Nick from The Party". Who's nick?
When you puked on me I said to you "we will just say that you threw some mostacholi at me"
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