How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
i wish i could watch tv and lissten to music at the same time...but still understand both
i think otters can do that
I just got hit by a car. I'm fine; I'll be to the bars in about 15
I'm sorry. I think I have multiple personalities. Or it was the acid. Either way. I'm sorry.
I chugged vodka from a 15 ft snorkel. What the fuck did you do with your life today?
She was wearing some slutty variation of a toga and giving the entire bus a pep talk on why we should black out tonight...I'M IN LOVE AND I DON'T CARE WHO KNOWS IT!
She tried to beat him up using a half gallon of Bacardi, instead she got tangled in Kayla's hanging bra and broke a lamp. She can party with us anytime.
it's taken me 3 hours to eat this pudding cup. I think I am melting.
Please write a memoir and name it "Game Boy and Dick Stuff"
How is your new roommate working out
We are drinking at the laundromat. And will probably have sex later. So...pretty good.
LOOK, I was 19, and I made a lot of choices with my crotch which I'm weirdly proud of
Yes dear.
I'm not in bed, I'm driving and puking at the same time.... first for everything
They're gonna put "is a hoe" on my medical records
Umm...sounds like a maybe. I broke my nose and have surgery next wed but if I'm ok by Friday I'm down.
Tequila. The ruiner of all good intentions.
Randomize
