Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
he said he didn't have a condom.
and you said?
that that's fine cause i was ready to be a mom. yeah - he magically had a condom he forgot about after that.
I don't know where your sunglasses are, I was too preoccupied with girls not old enough to drive past midnight.
batman tramp stamp. Dibs.
Yep just saw a license plate that read "taint 2" which implies there is a "taint 1". Only in Florida
I don't believe these are real court rooms. They look absolutely nothing like law and order.
I feel so much closer to you now that I heard your poop splash into the toilet.
You cant give me a fifth of god damn jim beam and expect me not to cheat on my gf.
MASS TEXT! MASS TEXT! Your sad horny friend has finally gotten it in and can go back to being normal once again. You're welcome.
I've got 2 dollars. How do I turn this into alcohol?
Basically I don't wanna put on pants...but I'm stoked for drinking my face off tomorrow.
I'll get you through man, I'll be your fairy godmother with better prescription drugs
I just want him to get into an accident where he's horribly disfigured but otherwise fine so he's not so freaking handsome
Fuck you i've put so many pretzels in her shirt
He told me he would make me come so hard I would throw up. I'm actually horrified that he thinks that's something any person would want
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