hey no worries the mystery has been solved- i jst sneezed and my undies popped outta my nose.
The is a pregnant woman in this Chipolte wearing a shirt that simply says ‘OOPS!’ across the tummy.
That baby is bound to be under-loved.
I sharted during my first quiz and I couldn't leave, I went ahead and took the rest of the day off.
I bought the tickets, he brought the weed. thanks to you, we had to roll a joint out of my bible paper.
At best buy, little boy just crawled into my stall while i was taking a shit
I need to stop taking drags of other peoples cigarettes, it's such a tease. Like playing just the tip, you just can't
So I was about the only one NOT pregaming or stoned at my aunt's funeral... Maybe thats why I'm the black sheep.
I even tried crushing up viagra and putting it in his beer... And the next day he found the package on the counter. I told him it was for my friends husband.
What part of "he tried to put his dick in my ear" did you not understand??
He's going to be my graduation present to myself.
You stole my crutches last night at the bar, the DJ had to ask for them to be returned
For our final psych experiment, we're conditioning Tim to hump the nearest inanimate object and/or person every time he hears a Ke$ha song
Great sex, the promise of us mixing our excellent genetics in the future, and access to drugs are mainly what's holding this relationship together at the moment
I need thought I would ever have to use the phrase "Don't fart on that Calzone".. Thanks for that
Its mothers day... Can my present be an orgasm...for once?
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