so apparently telling her she could shit easier and therefore lose weight faster wasn't the best arguement for getting anal.
Most eventful shower ever. Jacked off, peed and puked in there.
Yea, remember to blow out the fire from flaming shots. Unless you want burnt lips. Just saying, I'm an example of ignorance and intoxication.
The bed I'm sleeping in has a headboard only handcuffs could love. I'm gonna pick up a local dude and wreck that.
I think I won over his best friend. He was staring at my boobs all night.
Happy you have kids and I don't day!
I think the worst was the guy who sent me YouTube videos about how age doesn't matter, and then a link for natural breast enhancements. Kill me.
Someone has big plans this weekend. Just went to throw away the trash and saw packaging for 3 different vibrators on the top of the stack
I feel like a girl who eats her problems away with fast food.
When all else fails, you can always look down at your enormous penis.
He texted me at 2am telling me to come get my American flag from his place, if that's not code for sex idk what is
DUDE FUCK CALL ME SHE HAS GRANDKIDS
Well, while we went through airport security, I found out Mom got her clit pierced, so there's that.
BUT DID YOU RIDE THAT DICK INTO THE SUNSET THO?
We are literally scheduling phone sex... if that's not long distance af then i don't know what is
His PENIS is so fucking big that I always use caps, out of respect.
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