need another drink. this is the easiest way
I just had a dream where Bob Saget recognized me from when I hung out with him in a dream I had months ago.
So they discontinued the hummer... Now people will have to go door to door to let others know they're assholes
i wish i could shrink down to the size of his dick so i could just thank it in person.
He's Hawaiian. Thank god it wasnt a real American
The prescription for my birth control just blew away in the wind on my way back from the health center. It's like god wants me to get pregnant
LOVE ME LIKE A KANGARO LOVES A POUCH YOU DUMB CUNT
There's a lady here with a big bag of dildos. I'm not sure that's appropriate bar baggage but, I like her style
You know you're an adult when you break 100 to get 75 cents, to buy a condom from a bar vending machine in South Boston.
Not a or good or bad impression, just that you were all basically naked playing beer bong in sombreros and ties. Casual.
You can't honestly expect me to maintain an erection when you have the Glen Beck show on
I think my pussy is going to freeze to the ground
HE LEFT ME THE DAY AFTER I LET HIM PEE ON ME. If you date him after that, I'll leave the fucking PLANET.
You are a genius and a whore.
The career specialist read an Onion article to us. Please send help.
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