and when i put it inside her she yelled "welcome aboard!"
How am I suppose to look him in the face when I know a commercial lasts longer than he does?
Between the two of us weve fucked every guy at this table
I'm sorry. We set two Christmas trees on fire. Also the neighbor's yard. Also ours.
Dave a horae rider a coqw boy
Bank of America: Available balance is $546.25 on 03/04/2011 for account 8428. Go online for details. TextSTOPtoStop/TextHELPforHelp
i loe djcudia fjxos rue.
He was very impressed that you could put your hair in a ponytail by yourself while throwing up.
My head. My head is the problem. Also alcoholism.
CHAZ BONO WILL BE ON THE NEXT SEASON OF DANCING WITH THE STARS.
Internet Is back!
MY NEWS TRUMPS YOURS.
there's no excuse to just assume your pants won't be coming off for some reason or another. that's just irresponsible
I'm the fucking queen of sexting. I just made a blowjob sound so poetic I'm wishing I were a guy just so I could blow me. Learn from me.
michael burned off one of his eyebrows making a pizza so he had to shave off the other one to make it look even. it doesn't look right, but I'd still bang him.
I ate pizza in bed, sans pants, and then carved a pumpkin. FUNCTIONING ADULT MOTHERFUCKERS!
How many of my Tinder dates can my Christian roommate accidentally meet in the hallway at 3am before she's horrified and moves out?
Well I just saw a fully naked man doing a headstand in a cooler of ice water.
Randomize
