help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
They told me I spent half the night at the club with one ball hanging out my shorts. Apparently it got me 1 free drink, 2 numbers, and thrown out.
better yet, through the bookshelves. like an intellectual glory hole
we managed to turn Dream Phone into a drinking game. don't hate.
Well when you're drinking tequila mixed with water out of a steve Austin cup I really don't think acquiring a straw is your main priority
Something strange is happening to me, I think I miss hooking up with girls sober
god it feels good to gold a bottle of opiates again.
I think that typo was actually more appropriate than what you intended.
He ran into the surf holding up a cigarette yelling "let the Olympic games begin!" So no, no vodka left.
I should probably drink beer instead of rum today so I don't end up naked in my living room while I still have guest.
The cops came, and I made friends with him. He wants me to babysit his kids.
Did you actually just quote Ace Ventura during a sext!?
You know it
Dammit now I have to marry you
he was peeing off the deck shouting "urinals are for pussies" that's how much hurricane.
You know you're high when you find yourself sitting on the floor with the refrigerator door open, talking to various foods. Hand gestures and all.
You waddled all the way home with your shoes in a construction cone. I'm glad to call you my Bestfriend.
I have to touch the horse lube. :-(
Randomize
