Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
It's a sad day when you have to slightly move your fupa to shave.
I was in a threesome last night that turned into a violent domestic dispute with damage to a hotel. Wish you were there!
You act like this is the first time i've fingered two 17 year olds at the same time
just shottied a beer can with a pumpkin carver. i love October.
you started introducing us as kentucky and gentlemen
Last comment. I know of no exercises, diets or practices out there to help keeping balls young and healthy. They simply succumb to gravity.
Walk of shaming dressed as a zombie hunter. This hangover feels like the actual apocalypse.
Also I'm at the pub and there are old lady pirates gyrating on a pole. I wish you were here.
Well, he hasn't actually seen me naked. Just my boobs... and the left side of my vagina.
I just noped my wife on Tinder. Turns out I was the second one to find out that we both have it.
Pretty sure keeping my vibrator in the same drawer with the weed makes it work better. I fall asleep almost immedi
You think that was bad? One time my parents found my sister half naked on top of the four runner in the garage. She makes me look like the good child.
I saw that he had a tattoo of a map of New Jersey on his arm, so i slowed down to like 20mph and pushed him out of the car
Did you get drunk between now and two texts ago?
Randomize
