I don't know which is worse: knowing all the free porn websites, or knowing which days they update their free porn.
WHOA. WHOA. WTF. WHOA. TOO HIGH FOR HIM TO BE ENGAGED RIGHT NOW.
I have come to the conclusion that if you don't fulfill your life ambitions you should go into porn
I just had a heart to heart with a stripper I'm becoming a dentist.
Have you ever tried running while drinking 151?
malibu coconut giveth, and malibu coconut taketh away
The black hole just entered the party man, I can literally see guys starting to move towards her.
He came inside and met my grandmother after we had sex in the driveway. I love that he has a van.
There's a cute bearded guy at this brew fest wearing a kilt and selling mead
TELL HIM ABOUT MY DOWRY!!!
So this morning everyone commended me for puking over the porch. No one else made it that far...
Did a 4 pm walk of GLORY the next day.
Don't drink and try to take a shower. I thought I was drowning
It's bullshittery. It's asshattery. It's complete fuckery at its finest.
why yes, bad decisions will be made starting at 3PM Thurs through 8PM on Sun. You have been warned. Plan accordingly.
If that pentatonix bullshit is playing when I get home we're breaking up
Randomize
