she calls it her "sourpuss" because everyone makes that face when they see it.
Is it possible to jerk off a nipple?
Last night i was gna tell u about how i was watching project runway & how i was upset bc they replaced tim gunn & heidi klum. but then i realized that i was watching mythbusters.
True life - we need to smoke together more often
I don't know where I am, but I'm drinkin & I like these people
We walked into the bar in The Flying V formation from The Mighty Ducks. We were ready.
im just going to superglue mistletoe to my forehead and see what happens
Im celebrating the fact that the one guy who has ever denied me has just come out of the closet
I swear she's a drunk klepto...by the end of the night she had stolen 3 bowling balls. HOW DO YOU STEAL 3 BOWLING BALLS?
The other guys kept waking up so I hid... Like, dick in mouth, hiding in his sleeping bag
And then he said he wanted to "get really weird with me on my horse." I took that as he wants to fuck me while riding my horse. Could be a good time.
If I wear a tail on Halloween, how am I supposed to grind? Maybe I will just wear devil horns
You drunkenly said something along the lines of "move forever" to the lady standing in your way. Needless to say you had too many mimosas at breakfast.
Haha I wasn't coming anyway. I'm watching Snow White and don't want to put pants back on. Those are completely unrelated. Have a good night.
The bouncer just called me magically delicious... apparently I'm a lucky charm. hollllleeeerrrr!
I once went to target high on hydrocodone. I assure you, they can handle unrespectable.
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