yeah well you didnt even puke from the alcohol. we cut you off and went to huck finn's and told you that the "irish cream" coffee creamers had baileys in it, so you shot down like eight of them and puked all over the floor. it was great. we cheered you on and everything
Her dad smelled like someone lit a fart and burned their ass hairs.
you were so high that you made a 14 page PowerPoint on why Santa would beat Peter pan in a fight.
and I must say, you were very persuasive
He kept screaming "it's so seductive" while he was humping the wall
yeah except there is a correlation between drinking moonshine and going blind, which kind of concerns me
Second night back. Go to house party and played ring of fire. Me plus five other people completely naked. College wins.. It's going to be a long semester
If it snows I'm just gonna sit at my house in my costume and drink beer by myself all night.
Did you ask me to bring you a t-shirt to class or did I just dream that?
No, I did. It's a long story.
ARE YOU THINKING VAGINA THEMED RESTAURANT
I'd let you fuck my husband in the future, that's how much I love you
My TA is here with a sombrero and an entire bottle of Svedka. Skip jury duty.
stop falling asleep in the bathtub. you are not a movie star, you cannot die that way.
as a self proclaimed hoe im ok with a lotta things but that is not fucking one of them
My co-worker accidentally texted me regarding the threesome him and other one are planning.
So bottomless mimosas = me waking up in a truck bed in a random neighborhood with no purse or phone or idea how I got there.
Randomize
