i'm smoking hookah in a kayak. how did this happen.
last night i found out that about 5 of my friends audio recorded us having sex through the bedroom door, then auto tuned it in the tpain app on his iphone.
I mean, it's free alcohol, to turn it down would be a crime against humanity.
Saw a guy in a chef outfit covered in mustard talking jiberish into his phone running across the skywalk.
Rain ponchos don't count as shirts at the bar. FYI.
I wish! That ended in 2001 when we all got collectively band from the Settle Inn. As a group we are also band from social events at the zoo. It's impressive really.
Hey, umm this is awkward but I want to apologize in case you find gum in your pubes. Not sure if I swallowed it or spit it out. It's all a blur.
The guy next to me in the library just got a call from his roommate asking him to come bail him out of jail...we need to step up our game.
I'm horny too so maybe we will both recap our regrets on Sunday
I mean, you got a giant dick. I've seen lawn gnomes that are smaller.
all i remember is slapping you in the face with a slice of pizza while laughing maniacally.
I'm not real sure what dinosaurs sound like, but dude, she made dinosaur noises.
After walking ten blocks barefoot in Boston I've concluded drunk me needs to make better decisions.
i just want things to go smoothly
oh they won't lmao
I can’t believe I made out with a flat earther and didn’t know about it until now!
Randomize
