my throat hurts so bad i feel like i just gave head to a cactus.
you were carrying a trash bag around insisting it was your purse. I'll let you guess how your night went
Lets start the night off early. Those Coronas arent going to throw themselves up.
stumbled upon a picture of an owl staring me in the face. i almost offered him a bong hit.
Beer vodka and pink lemonade powder mixed together. So. Many. Penises. My vagina will be calling out to them tonight. Coooooooooooooome.
So fucking hammered. Is this all spelled right? I'm holding it up to my eye. I am on a boulder. I feel like an owl
Just remember, if we get caught, you're deaf and I don't speak English.
dont eat that thats our sex nutella.
Your exhaustion is probably due to your rampant sexual urges and the fact that you live the same life as a raccoon.
I can get stoned and we can bake and then I can eat 70% of it and it will be awesome
I am on my usual post-jerkoff high of eternal happiness. Like I could punch a fucking tiger.
We got high and watched Winnie the Pooh. Isn't that what every normal person does on their break?
You don't come back from leaving a bag of shit on someone's counter Jill
What the fuck were you guys talking about?
Lube wrestling.
Oh, makes sense.
She was talking about how a garden gnome was hitting on her the whole night. We thought she was just that high, but turned out the gnome was that guy in the weird hat.
Randomize
