Where you at
assisting at a photo shoot in williamsburg till 7ish. wassup?
Doesn't matter. I already jerked off in your bed.
She's got an ass you could write the declaration of independence on in one line. Takes up three bar stools.
I thought I broke my iPhone. I was almost as depressed as the day I broke my vibrator.
Yeah i knew he wasn't okay when he told me he was "seeing his vision"
It's the eternal vodka... it never seems to go away
he turned down sex AND sandwiches. who the hell does that?!
I will no longer accept being cock blocked in my own bed.
I dont know but I had two different hospital bands and half a pie when i woke up.
Wesley I'm sober and my body hurts. There wasn't much trust in any of those falls.
Just saw the trailer for Spike Lee's version of Oldboy. They filmed a lot of it in A's building so like every scene features a place where I had or almost had sex. If oral counts then pretty much every scene.
I don't get it. Why have babies when you can have vodka?
I wish you could see all the crumbs in my bra....it looks like Hansel & Gretel got lost in my cleavage.
Sitting on the toilet ... Eatin pizza with one hand, petting my cat with the other. I love a sad drunken life
Like he's moved to LinkedIn creeping on me since he's blocked everywhere else & I'm just so confused does he think I'm going to post daily updates of my life on FUCKING LINKEDIN
imagine the bill from school house rock beating the shit outta you
Randomize
