I am engaged
To a real live girl that has met me
I kiss like a newly born barfing kangaroo
So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
new plan: i think the keg will fit in my purse.
yea, there's something about a stripper whipping you with your own belt that makes you think
I realised my life had gone downhill since being unemployed when I was making key lime pie on acid at 3am Tuesday morning.
Every time you started making out for him we all cheered for you... that's what sorority sisters do - they cheer you on when you make bad life decisions at the bar.
Do me a favor? If you get with him, please lick his abs. Someone has too they're just too beautiful not to.
I also think about what hot dudes penises are gonna look like when theyre 80 and it's not pretty
But lunch with my dad really just means an hour and a half of him telling me how he's disappointed and how he knows I'm on drugs
He told me he needed "space" but then goes and likes my insta of panacakes.. Done.
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
Dude, he danced with the dog that some random chick was carrying at the bar. Then the dog jumped out of his arms and ran away. THAT definitely deserves a drink.
Do it!! We better have a duck by the time I get home.
Randomize
