oh so you have enough money for the third eye blind concert but not enough for the morning after pill?
Changed my mind. Wearing a dress. Casual, with a side of breasts.
I literally might walk of shame home on a cable car. If that doesn't scream San Francisco I don't know what does
Well I turned her sobriety into my own personal drinking game
Weekday college schedule so far: get high as tits. Watch Family Guy marathons. Repeat.
Shes definitely an expert at this. Her happy hour goes from 4 to 11, then she starts drinking heavy. She also allots 15 minutes each hour for a pee/bj break
No, trust me. Falling down the stairs is a fucking sobering experience.
other than the jail part I had a really good time with you
I just called my boyfriend "Dad"... Awkward
My brother is chasing tequila with vodka. Not sure how it will turn out, but I like his style.
I just told 2 of my vibrators "I love you." I seriously need some dick.
Sometimes you wanna cuddle and sometimes you wanna get blown in the bathroom.
He nailed that bed down really well so it won't break again. All I could think while he was nailing it was "challenge accepted".
Idk, but the girl in his story had really nice eyebrows and was singing The Climb. How about you CLIMB the fuck away from my man
FORGET THE EYEBROWS
i keep smelling vagina and donuts, which pretty much sumarises this morning. happy birthday.
Randomize
