One of my students just wrote an essay on how ninjas, like drug addicts, must realize they need help before they can get better...I gave it an A+
Something growled at me in your dark backyard last nt. Hoping it was my landwalking laser sharks and not Andy.
If only guys knew how much awkward ass shaving goes into making sex this good...
You tried to call "time out" during the sobriety test.
Oh, and trying to figure out who wants to do Molly in a frat is like asking damn children if they want puppies and candy. So just bring as much as possible.
I want a burrito.
Truly, you are the voice of a generation.
I'm so eating pot-chocolate cookies while preggers. This kid will be so amazing.
Lab coat again saves the day - hiding embarrassing shart evidence...
weekly advice from mom, "Drink vodka, it las hess calories"
He is what would appear if the douche troop all had rings and we summoned someone like the Captain Planet kids.
Is there a particular reason why everyone is now calling you Butt Doctor?
my biography would be titled "haunting truths and dick jokes: a tale of love, loss, and masturbation."
Its mothers day... Can my present be an orgasm...for once?
Booze, boobs, blunts and batman. dude, I'm livin' the life.
I would totally suck a dick for some poutine right now
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