Got a toothbrush?
i feel as if its time to shave my pubes but i should wait until before the party. nobody likes a sloppy drunk girl with a stubble-crotch.
story of my life.
Im sure that doesnt mean its ruined... It was your bithday you get a free "im drunk at 7 am" card
no where in the syllabus does it say "no alcoholic beverages allowed".
My vagina has officially become a vortex for sexually confused frat guys.
So add panera bread to the places i love to eat that i am potentially banned from.
I added "don't hook up with boys with girlfriends" to my new years resolution and realized how sad it was that it made me actually feel like a better person
One minute we were getting noise complainted by the security guards the next I was shotgunning a beer with them
i woke up completely naked except for a bottle of beer saran wrapped in between my boobs
I think theres a high possibility i could be flammable.
We lost Kevin again. Probably kidnapped by fattie 2 or butter-face 2 from last night. We need names and any information you can give us. Last scene with his shoe laces converted into a belt.
I got home and laid by the toilet and then alexa laid in the bathtub and sang the preamble while kayla held my hair
i think i broke my dog last night...fuck
Did you see her happy birthday to emily on facebook? The gist of it is like: hey emily you almost died at birth im glad you didn't. love mom.
One can only be this extremely wet once a year and I feel like I'm bitch slapping god by not using this gift he has bestowed on me.
Randomize
