So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
She knew it was going down when I had her search for "condoms" in my iPhone Maps.
I was so drunk last night I wanted to download a Busta Rhymes album.
He started crying and showing me pictures of his ex. she was really pretty. It's an honor to have shared a penis with her.
Just found out he cheated on me last night. But its Shark Week so I will deal with it next week.
I pretty much have hash tequila and gelato for dinner every night
His roommate left already and took the beer pong table so we had to take off his bedroom door. Maybe res life won't notice.
And your cousins porn shouldn't have been the first straight porn you watched. And for that I am sorry
You pissed off the back deck while listening to the national anthem from your phone screaming America Fuck Yea to my neighbors
I need to just embrace dildos and cats and call it a life.
Say whatever the fuck you want about me, but leave my deceased cat out of it.
Accidentally drunk dialed my mom last night. Started the conversation with "Where you at girl?"
yeah i'm making him "thanks for letting me befriend your toilet" cookies. wanna help? i'm sure you'll be making new friends too.
so my parents definitely heard me when I was cumming last night...
that is very illegal...i love you.
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