I mean roof. it goes up. its important day. you should recongziw it.
You're drunk. Make complete sentences.
It's not luke its my birthday or anything. Mike, understand.
and by charming I mean he has a horse cock.
His dick might not be the answer to my problems, but I'm definitely ok with testing it as a possible solution.
i yelled out "tuesday" during orgasim. he fucked me into 2 days from now.
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK FUCKABLE IN AN ALL NEON SPANDEX JUMPSUIT?
How long after mardi gras is it considered okay to wake up topless and wearing beads?
I'm cuddling with a baby pig and drinking champagne right now.
I'm chatting with a girl missing a front tooth. I find it quite distracting. I'm sure you have deduced what bar I'm drinking in on this monday night.
Our room will be decorated with my urine.
I am the sex elephant in the room. Again.
Dude. It's not even nine. I don't know yet.
Drink number four. Don't even tell me about its not even nine
Ps I'm glad our relationship hasn't progressed into having to get married so we legally can't testify against each other
he shit on the floor last night i'm not venturing down there
I just need like a magic vacuum to suck everything out of me and then an IV to put good stuff back in
I was covered in mud from my knees down, I smelt like the inside of a port-a-potty and only had mascara on one eye. . . so you know your usual Sunday brunch.
Randomize
