u cheatin on me?
if i did i would try to upgrade babe.
I wish there was a non-hangover washing machine that I could stick myself in right now
in the 'for' section of the check i put "when we got drunk and broke things". again im sorry.
We drove past his house blaring "Like a virgin" in the middle of the day. pretty sure he heard.
Just woke up with my keys in one hand and cheesecake in the other.
Whatever you gave me is making me lactate
my greatest accomplishment from the city of diplomacy is that i puked at a table of 5 diplomats and my professor and NONE OF THEM NOTICED
And he probably thinks I'm in love with him but after three shots of Patron you love anything
whoever brushed my teeth and whitened them while i was passed out, thanks.
she's traveling up the coast with her camera and a stash of pot cookies eating food from different campuses. said she slept in a closet 2 states away last nite... of course I'm interested
I'm not gonna get my cat high anymore because what if he has a heart attack. I don't want to be responsible for that shit
What happened to no more shots?
It went out the window just like my dreams
If you don't sing 'dust in the wind' at my funeral, I'll haunt you forever
Hey I know we haven't talked in a while, but I wanted to thank you for those m&ms you bought me for Christmas. Sorry I never got you anything then broke up with you.
On the good side I got hit on by a cute college guy. But the bad side was having sex in a frat house for first time in 9 years
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