Yes, I am watching The Hills Have Thighs. And yes it is a porno remake of The Hills Have Eyes. And, again, yes, lesbian sex in the desert. Get the sand out.
i just did the math...im a product of my mothers birthday sex
How can you turn a kayak date down? I'M TALKING RIVER HEAD HERE.
Glad we went casual last night, made my 1pm walk of shame through Walmart a little less obvious
i'm soo broke, the only trip i can afford for spring break is acid
Malt liquor mondays...better in theory.
Woke up this morning with my period. Saw a commercial for the beginning of Shark Week. I see what you did there, Mother Nature. My pad's off to you.
The girls danced. I drank. Then I danced cause I was drunk. Then I ripped tim's shirt off cause I'm awesome.
Actually I more feel like I'm on a ship about to grab the holy grail off an island
The ship is me being high the holy grail is some profound idea I'm about to have
Please come collect your inebriated significant other. He just sleep-farted and scared my cats. Please hurry.
Just met my French neighbor. We watched a crow die together, so we're pretty tight.
The lady at the front desk wished you a happy hangover.
Oh yeah, nothing says welcome home like walking in on your parents having sex on your bed while the dog is watching, they told me to wait until they were done...
so i put my jacket on last night that you wore last weekend, and reach inside the pockets and find them full of goldfish...
the snack that smiles back:)
Hot guy next to me on the flight lives near my grandparents. There’s a 100% chance I end up drunk and naked in his hot tub
Happy Thanksgiving to me!!!
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