I was thinking about baking his mom "sorry you found out i was sleeping with your son" cupcakes
you refused to come out of the bathroom until i asked you in spanish
i dont even know how to be here
that's what penises do
they tell lies.
You know how there are wrinkles in your brain? What if they were filled with potato chips? That's kind of how my head feels now.
I just want to like fall into a pit of hot wings beside a keg of yingling and eat my way to freedom
I've finally done it, I've downloaded some messenger lesbians like to use because some girl wanted to flirt.
Congrats, you're all grown up now.
I FEEL LIKE A GAY BUTTERFLY
just wanted to eat pizza off his dick so he let me and he can never forget it
Can I just say how funny it is that your "respect" tattoo is right above the bruise from me slapping your ass
Ever since I got to LA my dream self has been having sex with way too many rabbi's.
DO NOT TOUCH THE SOAP ITS HAD SOME UNORTHODOX USES WITHIN THE PAST 15 HOURS
Nothing says "Happy New Year" like having to shit into a plastic bag.
I just realized I'm having shark week, during shark week.
Dude my toilet did not deserve what I just did to it
Your dick. My mouth. We have 20 minutes.
Randomize
