Swine flu is the new snow day.
Isn't it statistically impossible for THAT many ugly people to be in one place at one time?
I am currently explaining what double penetration is to the bridesmaid I hooked up with at my cousin's wedding. This is my life.
Shit stained towel. The very symbol of how much closer we are as friends. Fall 011... beautiful disaster
I don't know what that means. But if you take off your pants, you'll probably get arrested.
Things are very odd on my 29th hour of being awake. Thought there was a bird in my lecture hall and it was just a girl putting up her hair. What even
Within the span of 10 minutes, I managed to make a slip 'n slide on his stomach, threatened to pee on him, kneed myself in the eye, and almost fell asleep on the toilet....in that order.
Do you remember ripping my condom off last night while yelling "I DEMAND MY MEAT RAW" like a Viking?
i sent my dealer a picture of the money i would pay him. i also told him i would pay him in cheez-its if he would prefer that.
like i got into his car and the beatles were playing. this kid is def getting his dick sucked
Let's play the game let's see how long Kayla can be sober
I mean when you laced a shot with $200 worth of cocaine I could see why you'd be mad when somebody drops it
I made out with my moms boyfriends son last night. Thanksgiving is gonna be reeeal fun!
That dick was not the dick of a twenty year old
On a scale of 1 to i should hide, how deep did i dig my grave?
Randomize
