"Worlds Wildest Videos" should be called "Crazy White People"
like the penis drawn on my face is so detailed and well done, i'm not even upset about it.
She asked me why I was wearing a Batman Suit. Have I ever needed a reason to wear a Batman Suit?
Like. I probably should fuck him. I owe him for breaking his thumb.
You're just horny.
Yea, and? I appreciate you as a person too if that helps.
Russell brand is gross. Everytime I see him I just wanna give him a bath. He's like a used condom.
Seriously, this apartment is covered in body glitter. This chick musta been a huuuuuge slut. How do you get it across every surface?
Do you have any forwarding contact info?
THE CEO RESPONDED TO THE MEMO WITH HIS "UNICORN" EMAIL ADDRESS AND NOW HE'S APOLOGIZING TO EVERYONE FOR USING HIS PERSONAL EMAIL AT WORK.
I kept having to give myself encouraging advice like, "you know how a path works"
Oh dear. If we're both hearing alien sounds then perhaps they're real.
We both shit in the same closet in Santa Fe. Nothing is sacred anymore.
Oh god. Charles just fell off the bar. Didn't spill his drink. He's come so far..
I can't get past the whole vibrator up the ass stunt.. Can we have a ceremonial burning for his dignity because I will not ever touch that again..
youll appreciate my drinking habit one day...
I did not marry a roomba.
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