Her sex list was a LOT longer than mine. She tried to justify it by saying '4 of those don't count because they were in the gang bang'.
I reached in my backpack to pull out my laptop. I found my bottle of Jack and 2 bottles of Coke. It's going to be a good class.
I now realize that they made gum to take the taste of dick out of your mouth.
I told them I was gay and asked them to pass the pie. I ruined pumpkin pie for grandpa.
I just had a flashback of me saying "I'm not ready to be a deadbeat mom" lastnight.
Kegger tonight. 10pm. $5 coverfor unlimited booze. Proceeds benefit nuns from Uganda. Bring friends. No shit.
You have not lived until you've seen your mother stumble into the house with one shoe on mumbling incoherently about tequila cupcakes.
Hahah fuuuck, bag pipers played around me while I threw up. Literally
The girls danced. I drank. Then I danced cause I was drunk. Then I ripped tim's shirt off cause I'm awesome.
There are two guys's cum on my sheets. Be a man and be the third.
Your vagina doesn't want to be violated with garnishes. I get it.
Seriously I'm not after your cock. It's a nice bonus, like finding $20 in the dryer, but not the reason I hang out with you.
I need a drink. No, several. I need several drinks. Drunk, I need to be drunk. Definitely need to be drunk
He's here walking around DRUNK AS FUCK in a Kobe Bryant number 8 jersey... Tucked in.
He’s definitely circumcised. There’s not enough room in those speedos for a foreskin with that fire hose he’s packing.
Randomize