he just flicked a booger into my mouth and shouted "goaaaal!"
some girl in front of me in class just googled "hungover+throwing up blood"
My roommate was eating ketchup out of a bowl. Get me the hell out of here.
She sat on the stairs and yelled sex positions at us. I don't remember if we went along with it but judging by the beer and condoms I'm thinking yes.
The assistant vp has a bottle of wine on his desk & I have a feeling my boobs will be making an appearance today.
So I put a beer on your bed and jumped on th3 other side of the bed like in the commercials. You my good sir, owe me a budweiser that your bed drank.
I feel like weed makes my smarter. I'm watching the stocks and the way I understand if, do not invest in Yahoo right now because they are not fit for that.
Just puked in my hallway. Good start to a great night
We're living together and you don't know if I've seen Titanic?!
Go have fun. I'm gonna go shower off the regret.
Woke up with champagne in my hair and honey mustard on my hands. Strangely, I'm okau with this
yeah I woke up in jail with two different shoes on and neither of them were mine
Part of my tooth flew in my eye when the dentist was drilling my cavity then I was sent to the ER. Fucking never going back
the bartender goes "wow its so good to see you sober" and gives me a hug
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
Randomize
