I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
The weather is perfect in Seattle right now. Warm enough for girls to not wear bras, but cold enough for me to see them nipping out in the shade.
good penises are hard to come by.... must be the economy...
the last thing i remember is ordering pitchers of white russians....
Either I'm losing my touch or ED is running rampant in 20 something men now
Found my phone laying in a snow angel outside my apt this morning.
By the way, i got bored and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
I think I will always strangely appreciate as well as kick ass at stoned dishes. Like for the rest of my life. Thank you slave job at Starbucks.
Don't be alarmed by all the Dick cakes in the fridge. But please don't eat..i accidentally broke one in half you guys can eat that one. Its labeled free Dick
You're officially the most high maintenance man I've ever had inside me.
I ripped off the screen and literally supermaned through my bedroom window. That wasted
One minute I'm going home the next I'm getting railed on the back 9.
Because of you I'm damaged goods. I'm a fucking soup can and you dropped me.
I think the hamburger goblin stole my cigarettes. I left my purse behind her table and they're not in it now.
No, he wouldn't have sex with me....but on the brightside I managed to fit the entire falafel sandwhich in my purse!!
Randomize