so my 6 year old came home from school and asked me if he was a bastard cause the kids at school called him one, i told him to call them a clit. those parents will hate me
Tell us when you see the semi truck on fire.
so literally, as soon as i tripped and fell and hit the floor the earthquake started. hows THAT for a self esteem boost?
do you think you could subtly ask him about the dimensions of his penis?
I dont think yelling "Grab your dicks, time for pics!" helped your case either.
I'd rather just be alone, than deal with this bullshit. I just want to be alone. Cats and vibrators never let you down.
She's the second Ashley to meet and blow me in the same night. Sensing a trend.
he gifted me a vibrator as he was breaking up with me. you tell me how my night went
All i remember is you yelling at a stop sign and the rest is a blur
I didnt finish. My brain kept playing the duck tales theme thru the entire blow job
New low. I just threw up in the shower at 4pm. Nothing like leaving behind my 20s with class.
How the fuck did we end up at a strip club last night.. We started the night playing bingo at a church
Yeah,I'm just gonna keep fucking other guys til this idiot figures out he loves me.
After 8 hours of circus trick sex, his parents are both hugging me and kissing me on the cheek asking when I'm coming back over. Score?
I just thought you should know that you should be proud of your dick. It's pretty much perfect. Just, ya know, by the way.
Randomize
