I just called a phone sex line and you know what I did? I sat there and cried
i barfeds in our rink
He just did blow off my nipples. He's not serious about his girlfriend.
He's only a little bit crosseyed.
I think this is one situation where "a little bit" doesn't mean much.
i have my graded calc test (94%) sitting on my empty case of beer next to my desk. this is me winning at college.
Bering your kids um. Abiout tol. Throw up
We left the bar in 2 bicycle cabs. It cost thirty bucks and they took us to the wrong hotel. When we finally made it to the right one we ended up in a room with three randos from alaska. Jammed out with them for like an hour. Those inuits are good guitar players
The couple that wants to take me home just paid the bartender $100 to pour tequila down my throat. I think I'm in some type of twilight zone where stds run rampant and the alcohol floweth
Just warning you now f you do not get intoxicated with me in front of the family on thanksgiving we are not related.
i'm in that phase where i'll swallow anything except food
So update from last night: I made friends with a coke dealer, I tore the card scanner off the wall of my dorm, and I passed out on our bathroom counter with my head in the sink.
We can't be fuck buddies. You stare into my eyes while we fuck.
Is this what it's like to be an adult? You plan out play dates for your vagina?
soo... how was my night?
Reverse road head. Sa-witch!!!
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