Trimmed my pubes and broke your paper shredder. Separate events.
I just got really nervous and swallowed all of my birth control
she burped and cried multiple times. it was like i was getting head from a baby.
I will give everyone a free pointer today. Here it goes, always pee by the house late at night to avoid getting shot by drunk bastards with guns. Never go by the tree line.
Always fun waking up to 911 as your last dialed call.
Level of drunkenness: just now when I sat down on the toilet, I had to double check to make sure I wasn't sitting on somebody's lap.
the room spins SO much faster in panama
Is it sad I don't want to go buy $1 Mac-n-cheese cause I need to pay rent... I'm re-naming this college.
Also, peanut butter on a spoon dinner is back in existence and it is good.
If I ever mention marriage force me to Brazil to do coke and strippers until I die.
I like the odds of his and my children being professional athletes too. To support me in my old age, see I do think about the future.
I didnt think the feeling of accomplishment for fucking brothers would be this great.
Turns out the old man beside me in the waiting room was dead, but other then that it was a good day.
I greatly enjoy being related to her. Even if is it only by a penis.
Bringing families together since 1987
Does it make me immature that I debated going to this baby shower stoned, or am I normal as shit and everyone our age are having babies too young?
He knocked me in the face with the phone during my light show. Didn't even feel it. Ecstasy is amazing
Randomize
